Film: Kino wie es keiner mag—Die schlechtesten Filme der Welt

(Rolf Giesen, Ullstein Buch, 1984)

Bad German-language crap, this book is actually an example of Bücher wie es keiner mag,* 'cause this book simply sucks. It is one of the few books I have ever actually thrown away after reading, and I usually save everything. On the back jacket it says that Rolf Giesen, or “Dr. Horror,” has not yet written a successful book. Could be, for this publication stands as proof that he can’t write in the first place. The paper should have been better used for toilet paper. Much more than the Medved Brothers, it is obvious in this publication that the author doesn’t even like the subject he is writing about; for the most part he simply blabs away like an idiot. More than most European countries, Germany has a long, rich and varied history of film, and like virtually every country outside of the United States, the darker nether-regions of its Bad Cinema has yet to be properly looked into, studied or documented. Giesen doesn’t even try to do so, he is satisfied simply filling pages with snide comments about easy targets—though his comments about what a loser Schwarzenegger is are pretty funny in light of the actor’s position today—and pointless jokes. His un-funny humor is particular putrid in his unnecessary synopsis of a nonexistent film in a chapter entitled something like “Films that should never be made.” A good writer capable of a clever turn of the phrase impregnated with insightful humor Giesen is not. More so, he is a poor writer incapable of turning a single phrase impregnated in any way with any humor, insight or information. The few films that he finally writes synopsizes of, he fails to give much historical information or insight to whether or not they might be worth watching as a “good” bad film, preferring instead to simply ridicule the projects. And, really, another chapter about Ed Wood and his films? (And a not very good chapter either, purloined mostly from the Medveds.) Giesen obviously hates the subject he is writing about, and it makes for a dislikable book that is painful to read. He should stay home and re-watch his copies of The Wizard of Oz or Bambi again and leave the subject of Bad Cinema to someone who is actually interested in it.
Regrettably, in Europe at least, there doesn’t seem to be anyone who is.

*That translates into "Books That No One Likes"; the actual title of Giesen's putrid publication translates into "Films That No One Likes-The Worst Films In The World".

Illustrations:
Before and after photos (taken from the Web) of the man Giesen almost slanderously attacks in his worthless book.